Rama approached the center stage and prepared to perform the feat. He had no nerves and was confident in his ability as he was the avatar of Vishnu. Sita was worthy any feat, and he would do whatever it took to win over Janak and the people of Videha. Yet, the feat was no easy task as it was handed by down by the great Shiva himself. Shiva had given Janak a powerful sword in return for a favor Janak had performed long in the past. However, the sword remained in its sheath as only one worthy of Shiva could use the sword. Thousands of warriors came to Videha to unsheathe the sword and to claim Sita, but all had failed. As the sword was brought to the stage, Janak remained cautious in hope to see a a worthy man take the sword and his beautiful daughter. Was Rama surely the one to it? Rama approached the sword and gazed at it intently. It was gleaming from its solid gold and many jewels were embedded on the sheath. Rama stared at his own reflection upon the sword as he prepared for the upcoming challenge. The room fell silent and Janak nodded his head to Rama to begin his attempt. Rama grabbed the sheath and with all of his might grabbed the sword to reveal to all to see. The crowd was chocked and silent as the feat was one no could believe. Finally, Janak rose from his throne and addressed Rama. "Rama, you have proven yourself as a true incarnation of Vishnu. No one has ever accomplished this feat as you have. You have shown yourself worthy for the sword of Shiva and for my daughter's hand in marriage." With his final words, Janak immediately called for the preparation of Rama and Sita's wedding.
Bibliography: The prose portion comes from Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913), and the verse portion comes from Ramayana, The Epic of Rama, Prince of India, condensed into English verse by Romesh Dutt (1899).
Author's Note: My story follows closely with the public domain version of Rama winning over Sita. The main change was instead of Rama breaking the bow of Shiva, I chose to have him unsheathe the sword of Shiva. This change was inspired by another story where a sword was removed, King Arthur. I also made the story more contemporary and easier to read as compared to the public domain version.
Neal, I like how you condensed two stories into one; what a great idea! I appreciate you "dumbing down" that wording of the story, to allow the reader to more easily understand the plot. Your choice of words was great and flowed smoothly throughout the entirety of the story. My favorite part of the story was when Janak gave Rama his approval to marry Sita because it shows great strength and respect on both ends.
ReplyDeleteHey Neal,
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you! This story was really entertaining and was a very good adaptation of the original story. I like how you added the change to unsheathe a sword Instead of the bending of a bow, this is very common in many stories. For instance, it is the premise of the story of King Arthur which as I can see was your inspiration. Making the story easier to read was also a great addition. One of my favorite things you did with this story was how you built up the suspense. I imagine it will be fun to read some of your other stories. I look forward to it!