Now David was the best marksman of all the men in the kingdom. Whether it was from a 1000 meters away to a close range shot, David he could hit all targets. Yet, he was consistently denied from serving in the army. You see, he was a short man and thus did not meet the physical requirements to be a standing officer and soldier in the army. One day David was out target practicing when he noticed an imposing man cutting down trees. As he observed the giant man, he knew this was his opportunity to join the army. He would ask the man to join the army and if David could be his squire. There was no way he would refuse. An army job was the best job as it meant weekly pay, food, and housing. David approached the tall man and learned his name was Goliath. Goliath was susceptible at first, but then quickly agreed after hearing all of the benefits it entailed. Together they traveled to the king's place so they could enlist the soldiers. Standing before the king, they offered their services and loyalty to the army. The king, impressed y Goliath's size, immediately took both into his ranks. David and Goliath would soon become a formidable duo as Goliath's size and David's shooting made them nearly unbeatable on the battlefield. However, one day Goliath got tired of having to share his wages with David. He felt that as an actual soldier he deserved more than a squire. Thus he plotted to get rid of David on their next hunting trip. The two of them traveled to the first in search of a terrible tiger who ravaged villages. Soon David spotted the tiger from his scope and alerted Goliath. This was Goliath's opportunity total down the tiger and leverage his victory to remove David from the army. He snuck upon the tiger, but the tiger was alert. The tiger yelled out a menacing roar and lunged for Goliath. Goliath feared for his life and retreated as quickly as he could until he was out of sight. However, cunning David knew all he had to do was take one shot and the terrible tiger would be dead. With his finger on the trigger, David quickly killed the tiger and returned the remains to the king. After hearing the story, the king banished Goliath for his cowardliness and promoted David to an officer of the army.
Author's Note: My story was similar to The Brave Little Bowman, but I did include some changes to make it more exciting. For one, I changed the characters to David and Goliath. The original story featured a small but clever man and a wicked big man, so I felt that it was easy to make that parallel with David and Goliath. Additionally, instead of David being adept at the bow and arrow, I made him a great shooter. The ending was ultimately the same as the smaller man won and the bigger man ran away in fear.
Source: More Jataka Tales, Ellen C. Babbitt, Ellsworth Young, 1922
David and Goliath. Ultimately David's cleverness won the day as it did in my story
Hey Neal I had a great time reading this story! I like how you combined your source story with David and Goliath. It was a set of familiar names in a different story and I think this made the story very fun to read. I somewhat expected them to become great friends as a complete twist, but your version is great too!
ReplyDeleteHi Neal! I rally enjoyed reading your story. It was a very easy read and your writing flowed really well. You definitely kept my interest throughout the story. One thing I would suggest is to proofread your story just one more time. I saw some typing errors in your story that would be a very easy fix. I like that you used very familiar names in your story but I think you could maybe add some background on where those names stem from more in your author's note. Overall, it was a great story to read. I look forward to reading more.
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